Are you a Dorcas?

My enjoyment for knitting has opened a door that is quite unexpected. A small group of knitters, crocheters and greeting card makers will begin meeting together on the second Tuesday in January. The group will be named Dream Weavers. I have been asked to lead this meeting. Cool huh? We will have a choice of knitting hats and scarfs for the inner city ministry that reaches out to the homeless folks in our city, or crocheting prayer shawls for the sick or making greeting cards for all occasions. It promises to be a time of creativity, fellowship and fun.

This could be a very interesting group of women. Women who have a heart like Dorcas in the book of Acts. Dorcas was called a disciple. The woman was well loved by her community because she was full of love and did good works for other people. Her good works consisted of making garments for people. In fact, when Dorcas got sick and died, her neighbors sent for Peter. When he arrived at the house they brought him to the room where her dead body laid, “and all the widows stood by him weeping, showing the tunics and garments Dorcas had made them while she was still with them.” Peter put them all out of the room, he knelt and prayed and raised her back to life.  Her amazing story is in Acts 9:36 – 42.

I think that Dorcas was a disciple with a mission, a purpose… a dream. She used her talent and ability to serve Jesus by blessing others.

The Dream Weavers have an opportunity to use their talents and abilities to serve our Lord and bless the people in our city. A warm scarf and hat on one of our cold winter nights can make a big difference to one person. A shawl that has been made and prayed over by some disciples of Jesus can be a comfort and perhaps even hold a miracle of healing. A person going through a time of celebration or a time of grieving, struggle or fear can be touched by a hand-made card that conveys the message that someone cares and is praying.

If you are a Dorcas looking for a way to bless others, come and join us on January 12th for our first meeting. Just go on line to Rockwilmington.com and sign up for the Dream Weavers small group. We will contact you to let you know what you will need to bring.

Are you a Dorcas?

Dreams for 2010

Things I would like for 2010.

1. Health for Eddie.
2. Steady work here in Wilmington for me.
3. Get re-connected with my passion to serve God.
4. Take a class.
5. Pay off our vehicle thereby becoming completely debt free.
6. Take Ed on a trip.

That is a good start.

Ed’s gift….. love

Here goes, off to Super Walmart of all places on Christmas Eve. Lord, please be with me. 🙂

I despise super stores. My ADD goes off the charts as soon as I walk in the door. Too many noises and shiny things.

I will go to get one last gift for the man I love. I will clutch my list firmly in my hand and I will stay on course.

• Ed’s gift
• wrapping paper for Ed’s gift
• Special card for Ed
• ink for printer

I cooked our Christmas turkey dinner today and we just finished eating. So, maybe the triptifan (sp?) will balance off the ADD.

I just discovered that check-spell has no suggestion for how I just spelled Triptifane. Either time! Huh.

Oh yeah, my ADD is really in balance now.

Pray that I don’t get sucked into the super store vortex and never make it home.

How much is too much?

Every Christmas for the past several years, we have joined my best girlfriend and her family for Christmas dinner. Last year she asked if i would cook the turkey… and stuffing, of course…. and gravy! I was flattered that she likes my cooking that well and I was happy to do it. I love to cook around the holidays. In case you didn’t know it, I am a “foodie”. I cooked it all bright and early on Christmas morning and had it ready for dinner at her house by 1 PM. It was a little more stressful than I anticipated but still, I was happy to do it. She asked me to do it again this year and I said YES right away.

I have come to realize that I think I can do everything I want to do. I always say ‘yes’ because I don’t want to miss out on anything. As a result, I often have to much on my plate because just when I have said yes to everything, something unforeseen comes up. That “something” usually unbalances the plate and before I know it, I am like a circus act plate spinner running frantically to keep all my plates on their poles. Exhausting!

After my episode with taking the dog’s pills (see post below, “God, what are you doing?”) I recognized the symptoms of being stressed out. Every time I thought about cooking the turkey and trimmings this year, my stomach just turned. I hated the idea of not doing something I say I will do. I despise going back on my word and even more – giving in to anything. Plus the fact that I really want to cook for our Christmas dinner and I know My girlfriend has so much to do that it would really help her to take that chore off her hands.

Ed and I discussed the whole situation and we agreed that I was just “too stressed” to take on anything more right now. So, I called Nancy (dreading it). First, I relayed the story of Ed’s visit to the ER and my extra curricular activity. Of course, she understood right away my need to relinquish the responsibility of cooking and she made me feel like I had made the right decision. Real friends are awesome.

I don’t know if I will ever learn the lesson of not piling my plate too high. But I am grateful for friends who understand when I need to unload and for a husband who speaks wisdom to me… every time I do it. 🙂 It is good to be understood.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all. Remember to share the love this season and always.

Home

This was my view from my couch yesterday. Bella, the black dog in the fore front, always has to be touching me somehow. In this pic she is laying on my foot. I love that she is that attached to me.

What you don’t see is the knitting project I have been working on. I have started making hats and scarfs for some of the homeless folks that come to Rock Church on Sunday mornings. The weather is getting colder. Tonight it will get down to the 20’s. Ed and I always think of these folks and pray that they will find a safe and warm place for the night. I am very grateful for my home.

Ed and I have been good for each other. We have worked hard and sacrificed together for 27 years. In the first years of our marriage, Ed was a merchant seaman. He worked on an oil tanker as a steward/cook. We spent months at a time apart from each other. I held down the fort at home, so to speak while he worked and traveled around the world. When we bought our home in NC we made financial plans to pay our mortgage off in 15 years. Two years into our new home, Ed was laid off. Our plans were radically changed. I got a job in the film industry and after a few years, it wasn’t uncommon for me to be working out of state and Ed was holding down the fort. Ed started his own business and became relatively successful in it.

This year has radically changed our lives again. Ed is now fully retired, not able to work anymore. I have not worked a film since February. We sold his business along with his carpet cleaning truck and used that money to pay off our home. We are learning how to live with less and we are blessed. We have each other and we have a home.

We have been very good for each other and God has never let us down. He knows the plans He has for us and we have always trusted His plan.

Baking aromas

Cranberry-orange bread, banana bread, cranberry and pistachio biscotti fill the house with wonderful aromas today. This is a home made Christmas and I am baking some gifts.

The deep truth is that God has had His hand of blessing on us in a mighty way this year. We have been stretched in ways that I never imagined. I have a new appreciation for people who are full time care takers. There is no place else that would rather have been for past 10 months than right here with Eddie. That doesn’t mean I have been all that good at it. I think Ed deserves a metal for putting up with all of my “help”. Thank goodness that he is doing so much better.

I have enjoyed having the opportunity to create some beautiful hair for my friends in my studio. It is my goal that everyone leaves here feeling good about their looks. In return, my friends have made me feel like an amazing artist.

Ed and I have learned to tighten our belts and yet still manage to treat ourselves good. On Friday afternoon, we drove to Myrtle Beach and saw the Christmas Show at the Carolina Opry. It is always good and we leave the show full of Christmas spirit.

I have allowed myself to hide out for a couple of days. I just need a little hiatus. Feels good.

It has been a tough year for us. I look forward to what 2010 holds. I would like to think that we are better prepared than we were last year! Oh, and no more falling down. That would be awesome.

God, what are you doing?

It has been a rather strange weekend, even by our standards.

Friday morning, Ed slept in late. I didn’t think too much about it until the second time I went in to wake him and he fell back to sleep again. That is not like him. He slept for 12 hours. When he finally got out to the kitchen, I got him a cup of coffee and left the room to take care of some things. I came back in five minutes or so to find him sleeping in the kitchen chair. Okay, he’s got my attention now. Bless his heart, he thought he was fine but I noticed his hands twitching and he was having difficulty putting words together. To make a long story short, I made a call to our doctor, a trip to the ER, test to confirm ammonia levels elevated, sent home with medicine and instructions. We were grateful he was not admitted and we had a solution.

By Saturday the symptoms had abated and he was almost clear headed. I kept an eye on him to be sure he was taking his meds properly. Then, I took my supplements and got the dog’s medicine together. Daisy, my 13 year old walker hound, has pancreatitis and nausea. I had a fairly long to-do list. I was standing at the kitchen table, talking to Ed and stressing a little. I had a glass of water in front of me and I swallowed the pills in my hand. Two seconds after I did that, I realized I had just taken the dog’s meds. What a dork.

My list got longer. I had to add a phone call to the vet to ask what kind of trouble I was in for taking this anti-nausea medicine for a dog. Then, I had to re-prioritize my list and move > forcing myself to vomit < straight to the top of the list.

Thankfully, the rest of the day went much smoother. In fact, I got a text message from a friend that I have been praying for since about 2005. I have seen her do well for a while, only to fall prey to some of her personal demons time and again. She wanted me to know that she has been going to church here in town and asked if I wanted to have coffee or lunch after church. WOW! She ended our conversation by saying that she was enjoying her new way of life.

Sunday was a wonderful day. Rock church had a Christmas celebration service that included some beautiful music, very stylish dance numbers , a relevant message of hope and a duet that reminded us to make this Christmas about giving of ourselves.

My friend came to the house for coffee and biscotti and we had a very nice time of fellowship. We talked about finding our purpose and living our lives for that purpose. I shared honestly that my dream, at one time, had been to help hurting women find their worth in Jesus Christ but I had reached a point where I wasn’t sure that I wanted to do that anymore.

I am not as sure of my purpose as I once was. My small group has been studying a book called Reaching your Dreams by Tommy Barnett. I have been praying and searching my heart to re-connect me to my dream, my purpose.

Later that night, this friend called me to say, “Thanks for never giving up on me.” She went on to say, “You cannot stop helping broken women. You have made a difference in my life.” She ended the call by saying that she wanted to be like me and she wanted, someday, to have a husband like Eddie. At the risk of sounding redundant, WOW! The moving thing about her saying that is not that she wants to emulate me. The real cool thing is that she is sees Jesus in me. It is His unconditional love that is drawing her to Himself. It is His peace that is beckoning her.

I am so humbled that He allows me to be a part of His plan. And, I am so stinking excited to see what God is doing in her life.

God, is that You speaking to me through this person?

K.I.S.S.

Have you developed the habit of being honest with yourself?

In my past, I lived in such a fantasy world that I actually believed some of the lies I told. I lied about my age so much that I lost track of how old I was. Now, I understand that most people would just take the year they were born and subtract it from the present year but, I lied quite often about my birth year so I could get served in bars at a younger age.

One year, I was celebrating my 20th birthday in a biker bar that I had been frequenting for about two years. Someone let it slip that I was turning 20 that day and the bar owner kicked me out. On my birthday!! The legal drinking age at that time was 21. I thought he had no sense of humor at all.

The hard thing about living a life of lies is remembering which lie has been told to which person. I have never been a very organized person so I was constantly getting busted and then I would have to make up another lie, on the spot, to cover the last lie. When you really think about it, that was a lot of work.

The hardest thing was all the lies I told myself. I believed that I was worthless, ugly, and a loser. I believed that my life was always going to be painful and that some how I deserved that. I believed that, if there was a God, He must surely be mad at me. I allowed myself to begin to hate myself to such a degree that I did not want to live anymore. My life was just one disappointment after another. I thought it would always be that way. The next logical step was suicide. I made a few attempts. Some serious, some a desperate cry for someone to care about me.

How could I have missed it all those years? There were times I had put myself in situations that could have resulted in my death but, somehow, I got out alive. One day, I had to admit that God was real and His hand had been upon me for a long time. He was never mad at me. He was broken hearted that I had chosen to live my life without Him. He wanted to help me make healthy decisions for my life. He never expected me to get it right all by myself. He knew that most of the people in my life would abandon me or let me down at some point in my life. He never abandoned me. He had been my protector so that a worse fate had not overwhelmed me. He was waiting for me to find the Truth. He waited until I was exhausted by trying to run my life my way. He never forced Himself into my life. He waited. He always cared about me. He always cared for me. He created me with a purpose for my life.

When I was ready to surrender the control of my life, He began to steer me in a good direction. I found peace. I did not have to try to be some one that people would like. I was learning that I really was this person that God loved. I found comfort for the disappointments. I was not worthless. It was alright to cry, to be sad about some of the things in my life. I did not have to be the tough guy all the time. God believed that I was worth something. I found truth. No more lies. They were a waste of time and energy. I discovered THE Truth. Jesus Christ, the Way, the Truth and the Life. He is my Savior. Jesus paid the price for everything I had ever done that could separate me from the love of God. God sent Jesus to do that for me because God loves me.

I will never be abandoned again. God said that He will never leave me or forsake me. I am not kidding, He actually said that! The apostle Paul reminded me of that in the book of Hebrews. Paul said, “For He Himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

That is my Truth.

My life is a lot more simple these days. I don’t have to search my memory to recall which story I told to the person in front of me. My life is pretty much an open book. What you see is what you get. Take it or leave it.

That is how I Keep It Simple Silly. K.I.S.S.

Barter for it

In this time of (so-called) recession, I am learning how to be blessed and to be a blessing.

There are things that I need done around the house and yard that Ed and I can not get done by ourselves. There are friends of mine who can not find the $$$ in their budget to get their hair done. BARTER!

I have some great things on my resume but I don’t seem to have a knack for making it all concise. My friend has a talent for things like that and for creating a web page. Hair cut, color and hi-lights by Coni = fine looking resume and a web page forth coming by Carolyn. Oh happy day!

I am now looking for someone who needs a hair cut and has a leaf blower. One hair cut by Coni = a tidy  yard and Serenity garden when the leaves are done falling.

This is kind of fun.

Date Day

Shortly before Ed took his tumble, (which radically changed our life style), we had re-instituted a date night. It is far too easy to take each other for granted after 27 years of marriage so, we dedicated twice a month to us and nurturing our relationship. And then…. well, let’s just say date night was out of the question for a couple of months.

Recently, we have started to date again. It is a clear indication that Ed is mending very nicely.  Long walks downtown are out but short walks from the car to the movie theater work well. A drive downtown works well. Dining out is a nice touch. A visit to Barnes and Noble for a coffee and a book is good outing for us. We discovered that Antonio’s in Leland has trivia night on Tuesdays. If you know Ed, you know that he loves trivia and Italian food, so that right there is a win / win date night.

Today, we went to a movie and then to Atlanta Bread for a bite to eat. On the way home, we stopped at Fresh Market and bought a couple of ‘kitchen sink’ cookies. They are so good that they never make it home. We give in and eat them in the car on the way out of the parking lot.

One of the things that never fails to make us feel the Holiday spirit is a trip to the Carolina Opry for their Christmas Show. It is always a visual delight with the beautiful costumes and creative lighting. I just ordered our tickets for December 18th. We will make a day of it in Myrtle Beach. We may even look for a place to get cannoli and cappuccino on the way home. Can it get any better than that?