Did you just judge me?

6 10 2014

I am a Christian. That means I have come to believe that God, in His mercy, sent a Way for me to get back into a pure relationship with Him. That Way is Jesus Christ. Without getting all preachy, suffice to say that I have decided to follow Jesus. I am a Christ follower.
Chances are, you have just made a judgement about me based on what you know about others. One of your judgements is probably that I am judgmental. The pot calls the kettle black.
Relax. Breath. Open your mind for a minute.
Do you want to know what I really think it means to be a Christ follower?


  • love God with all my heart
  • if I truly love God, I will love His people
  • love without hypocrisy
  • give and it will be given unto you
  • includes helping others
  • when you refresh others you will be refreshed
  • true religion gets dirty, goes where the needs are
  • closest to the heart of God is helping others
  • widows and orphans
  • God did not call me to judge people, he called me to love them
  • I need to judge myself, search my own soul. Not yours
  • I am full of miracles
  • miracles don’t always come with a fireworks display
  • a hug, a gentle word brings healing
  • encourage
  • help others and your life will break forth like the dawn and your healing will come

Now that I have revealed some of my inner thoughts, judge away.

In my over six decades on this planet, I have learned that we are all seekers. Every one of us are trying to find our way through this thing called life. We are not all on the same path. Each of us must find our own way. I believe that I have found mine and I TRY to walk it out every day. I am not interested in convincing you that my Way is right and yours is wrong. I welcome anyone to join me and the many others who are following Jesus, but it must be your own revelation that puts that desire in your own heart. If I truly believe that God speaks to the heart, I must believe that He has you in the palm of His hand and He will direct you. I respect your choice to walk where you feel led. We are not immortal. One day we will draw our last breath and then we will know in truth. Until then, my prayer for each of my friends is that God will lead us to the truth and help us to be true to what we believe.

Just laugh

23 09 2014

“Write Coni”, she said. “You MUST write.
These are the parting words to me from actress, Sally Hawkins. What a sweet and sensitive, creative soul she is. It was my pleasure to work with her on a television pilot titled, How and When. It filmed here in Wilmington in the spring. Together with the guidance of our director / producer, Charlie Kaufman, we created the hair styles for her character. Her face is pure, child-like and mischievous all at once. Sally brought the story teller out in me. She encouraged me to write my life story and assured me that people would be interested. One day I will try again to do that.

Right now, it is the first day of autumn and I am setting my will to write. It is only fitting that I hold Sally responsible for what comes out in my story telling today.
Laughter is one of my favorite things in this world. There is nothing to compare to a good belly laugh. I am convinced it is good for the soul. My husband’s laugh was one of my favorite sounds. I loved making him laugh or watching a comedy routine with him that would make him laugh until his eyes leaked tears down his cheeks. My daughter, Fawn, laughs all the time. Sometimes I wonder what it is she finds so funny and then I remember, she is my kiddo. She too sees the funny in almost everything.
My secret is that I believe laughter has kept me just this side of the boundaries of insanity for most of my life. Without going into great detail, suffice to say I have been through some crazy stuff. Some of it my own making and some that I had no control over at all. Life is what it is. We all have our “stuff.”
The job I am working on now is on the first season of a television series titled, Secrets and Lies. I am in the hair and make up trailer with three other ladies every day for 12 – 15 hours, five days a week. Our job can be stressful and draining or sweet and uplifting on any given day. One thing for sure is that we are all creative. You better believe I find plenty to laugh at in the environment of these creative crazies. We have been known to have after lunch dance parties in the trailer or craft sessions where we cut out pictures in magazines and put the faces of our cast on them. It is our therapy. No telling what can come of it. We actually have several of our pieces of art hanging up all over our cupboard doors that elicit a chuckle or two from those who enter our makeshift art gallery.

One of our camera operators is a man from Italy who speaks English with a strong accent. I love to hear him talk. Last week he asked me, “how do you always  smile?”

I had to think for a minute before deciding on an answer. I said, I just don’t know any better. And then, I went to my inspiration from the movie Elf. Smiling is my favorite.

Thursday thoughts

14 05 2014

Redeeming the time
Wasted days
God has entrusted us with this gift of life
Every day is a gift from God
Pursue talents and dreams
Run with purpose
Value of time
Invest time on things that matter
Every battle is not worth fighting
Don’t waste valuable time waging war against battles that don’t matter
Stop trying to please people who are never going to be happy
My time is limited.
Let it go and trust God to make it right
Night prayer: God I release all the negatives of this day. I trust You to take care of the outcomes.
Disappointments are inevitable but misery is optional
Prune relationships
Do not tolerate mediocrity
If you don’t let go of the old you won’t have time for the new
Evaluate prayerfully who is your inner circle
Do you need to let some people go
Jesus put the mockery and doubters out. Kept His inner circle with Him and raised up the dead girl.
Some peeps, we must love from a distance
What am I doing with the time God has given me? No excuses. Redeem. Be an on purpose person.

Bullies and a senior citizen

19 01 2014

On one of my frequent driving excursions for work, I enjoyed a lunch break in front of the fireplace at Cracker Barrel. The first thing the smiling waitress said as she came to take my order was, “I love your hair!” During my lunch, a woman somewhat older than me made it a point to stop on her way by my table to say, “I love your hair. You go girl.” I am not a stranger to comments like these. In fact, if a couple of days go by where no one compliments my hair, I know it is time to touch up my hair color. Purple fades very quickly. If I were not a hair stylist and able to do my own hair color in between salon visits I would never attempt to pull off this color. I love my fabulous, short, mohawk haircut by Paula at  Elsewhere Salon in Wilmington, NC and I love the Pimpin’ Purple hair color we use to make my mohawk POP.

Photo 104

There is another side to this coin of many compliments. After my lunch on that day, I was leaving the restaurant and heading to my car when I noticed two men entering the restaurant were staring at me. I kept them in my line of vision with a side glance and this is what I saw. They were both smiling. Not the kind and friendly sort of smile but that ridiculing, half smirky, bullying type of smile. One elbowed the other and nodded his head in my direction, which was not really necessary since they were both staring at me already. Then, they looked at each other and burst out laughing, loud and mean spirited. I turned my head to make eye contact with one of the big shots, gave him my most charming smile, tilted my head and winked at him. They both smiled a much kinder smile and then stumbled over each other on the way in the door. I had to giggle when they both, still looking at me, shrugged their shoulders at the same time. I shrugged back at them and proceeded to giggle all the way to my car.

As I got back onto the highway, I replayed that scene and realized a couple of things. First of all, it is true what they say; mean people really do suck. Grown men bullies act pretty much the same as junior high bullies. Bullies are cowards. They band together with like minded creeps to give each other validation. What a boring and non-creative way to spend a life.

Second, I have grown into a confident woman. There was a day when something like that would have completely devastated my day. I am quite happy to know that is not the case, most times, anymore. I can still fall into that pit on occasion but, after a mere six decades, I have grown comfortable with some things about me. I have a quirky sense of style for myself. My world is not rocked anymore when I discover that someone has completely missed seeing what an awesome woman I am. I like the color purple, I like to smile, I like to make people laugh and I like to see people smile. I am not afraid of bullies. I am glad I made the two nice ladies smile. I am glad I made the bullies laugh. And I am glad they made me giggle… all the way to the car.

six things it has taken six decades to learn

22 09 2012

Photo 56

These are things I know:

  • We are all just passing through this life, we can not hold onto anyone.
  • God is the one constant that I can not do without in this life.
  • It is important to tell the truth.
  • Honesty can be mean if it is not accompanied with love and humility.
  • No army can defeat me and Jesus together.
  • That quiet voice inside is telling you the right thing to do.

What have you learned in your decades on this planet? I would love to know. Let’s share and encourage each other.

brown leaves

22 09 2012
This morning, I get to do one of my favorite things. I am on my back patio with a cuppa joe while I read my inspirations for the day.
This cooler weather has turned the leaves brown seemingly overnight. My little doggie is barking and chasing lizards. Once upon a time, they all had tails. Now, only about half the population still have their tail.
Oh, but I was reading my morning meditations. “Your life cannot become a glorious adventure while you continue to play it safe.” Hmm. Make a mental note of where Bella just ….  My concentration is the pits this morning. Maybe I should just grab my scoop and pick up that dropping before I forget where it landed. It’s a good thing I saw her because, oh, that is a brown leaf. Brown leaf, brown leaf, brown leaf. I feel like I am in a game of Where’s Waldo. Brown, HA! There it is. Stupid brown leaves.
Now, back to that thought about a gloriously adventurous life. Mmm. This is a robust cup of coffee.

…. light the corners of my mind

9 09 2012

There is a great story about the trees Ed planted in the front of our home. When we had this house built, we took down all the scrub pines around our property. They were scraggly and when they grew tall, the hurricanes either up rooted them or blew them down. The constant dropping of pine needles and pine cones were a nuisance to clean up. Ed decided to replace the ones in front with some nice, thick evergreen shrubs. He assured me they would grow to about 5 feet when they matured. We liked the idea of having two 5 foot Christmas trees to put lights on during the Holidays. The first year, the shrubs were kind of spindly looking so we decorated with one set of lights on each tree. I say we, but Ed really did all the work. I say “work” because my husband was gifted in many areas but handyman work was not one of his areas. And so it was work to him but he did enjoy the fruits of his labor. Every night, he would turn on the lights and remark on how they made him feel the joy of Christmas.

By the third year we were adding strings of lights and using a ladder to get them around the top. I was out there helping Ed and the Christmas lights became a family chore. I say chore because….. well, you know how it goes. But, we still got much joy each time he lit the trees.

What we never bargained on was the fact that these shrubs were going to keep growing every year until we could no longer get anywhere near the top. I don’t know which year it was that Ed couldn’t even get the lights off the trees and so, in utter exasperation, he decided to just leave them there and we never plugged the lights in again.

twenty years later:

this is how big our two shrubs have grown!!!

Today, I noticed that a lot of the inside branches are dead. I have no idea what to do about it. I am hoping that it doesn’t mean that the trees are diseased and are going to fall on my house sometime soon. I could feel the anxiety beginning to rise in me as I pondered what to do. And as I peered into the tree, i saw something that made me chuckle.

If you look close at the middle of the bare spot, you can see the green cord with evenly spaced, small, white bulbs hanging off it. That old string of Christmas lights conjured up the memory of my love, out front one day, wrestling with an evergreen tree until he finally gave up and let the tree keep her captured treasure.

When I am gone and this home becomes someone else’s, I hope they laugh when they find the string of Christmas lights strung on the inside of their giant trees. Maybe they will be inspired to make up there own Christmas story of how the lights got there.