25 random things about me

31 01 2009

I keep getting this from my friends on Facebook but I can’t manage to make it work. So… you get the benefit of finding out these random things about me. Ready?

  1.  Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me.
  2.  I am madly in love with my husband. He is also my best friend.
  3.  Loyalty is essential to me in any relationship.
  4.  Singing is my passion. I feel closest to God when I sing.
  5.  I have had to lay my Isaac down. 
  6.  I have an Associate of Religious Education degree.
  7. I used to want to be a counselor but sick people cured me of that.
  8. I am not yet the woman that I want to be.
  9. Outback steakhouse is my favorite steak restaurant.
  10. My daughter Fawn makes me proud. She is an awesome woman of God.
  11. Reading the Bible is very difficult for me.
  12. I have read through the Bible in a year. Twice.
  13. AA saved my life.
  14. I have been clean and sober since January of 1977.
  15. My Mom became my best friend before she passed away.
  16. I love Turtle Sundaes from Andy’s.
  17. My dream would be to retire in Florence, Italy. I would like to own a villa and walk to the market every day to buy fresh bread and vegetables. I would stop along the way for cappuccino and pastry.
  18. I want to live to be 110 years old. And still have my health and my wits.
  19. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do.
  20. Being a successful hair stylist is one of my joys in life.
  21. I am learning to speak Italian from language tapes.
  22. It is my goal to have my home paid off  in two years.
  23. Working in the film industry is a constant challenge. It excites me.
  24. I plan to get a new tattoo.
  25. My favorite gift from my daughter is a snuggle blanket she made me several years ago. I use it all the time.

So, there you have it. Now that I am finished with this list, more random things are popping into my head. Ahh, stop the voices!





beat up ego and an old friend

24 01 2009

It has been another interesting week at work. I have learned a lot about myself while working on One Tree Hill. One thing I have learned is my self esteem can take a real good beating.
It was a great treat to work with an old friend this week.

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I have known James since 1998 when we worked together on Dawson’s Creek. I was his hair stylist for two years and we had a very good working relationship. We had a mutual respect for each other. It was just the shot in the arm I needed to see him and to see a big smile come across his face when he saw me. Then he gave me a great big hug and we caught up with each others lives. It felt great to be respected and have some good memories.

Now, I am looking forward to a good weekend with my husband and my friends. TGI the weekend.





Forgive Moms – part two

18 01 2009

After she cussed me out and told me she was not going to any AA meetings I told her that I never would have taken the drive to her house so early in the morning if she hadn’t promised me on the phone the night before that she wanted me to take her to a meeting. I knew that she would not remember  the conversation so I completely guilted her into going to a meeting. It is not the ideal way to get someone to a meeting but I was desperate. Her drinking had accelerated at an alarming rate and I was sure that she would drink herself to death if something drastic did not intervene.
She showered and got dressed. She was sick as a dog but off we went. My mother heard something at that meeting and she promised me that she would go back to another one the next day. That was a miracle. Mom kept going to meetings and started putting sober days back to back. It was one week before my wedding to Ed and she gave me the best wedding gift I ever would have dared to dream of. I had a sober mother present for my marriage. By the grace of God, Mom stayed sober for the rest of her life.
I forgave my mother. I prayed for her to be blessed and I refused to hold onto resentment. I loved her where she was at and did not allow her to poison me with her alcoholic behavior. I forgave all the madness from my youth. I forgave every act of dysfunctional behavior. I never condoned her drinking but I forgave her and loved her where she was at. I knew very well that she had a disease and that she hated her own behavior but had no life skills that could allow her to survive with out alcohol. Now, she was staying sober one day at a time. Like me. Like Eddie.
Someone said to me that she is the only mother I was ever going to have and wouldn’t it be a shame if I missed out on any more time as her daughter because I was holding on to past hurts. Forgiving is a choice, not a feeling. I made a concsious decision to forgive. I am convinced that it was because of forgiveness my mother was able to get sober.

My suggestions for forgiving someone:

  • Pray that God will bless them in the way He sees fit.
  • Repeat the Lord”s Prayer and think about asking God to “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
  • Make a decision to forgive.
  •  Do not allow new resentments to settle in. Give the offense to God right away.
  • Make a decision to forgive.
  • As much as possible, protect yourself from the harmful behavior.
  • Detach from the situations but love the person where they are at.
  • Each time the offense crosses your mind, give it to God. Repeat the first suggestion often
  • Remember that forgiveness is not a feeling.
  • Make a decision to forgive.

Next week I will share some more of the miracles in mother’s sobriety.





Ed and Coni’s excellent adventure

18 01 2009

We have started doing date nights again. After 26 years of marriage it became a challenge to find something new and interesting to do. Ah, but I was up to the task this week. I told him that I had our Saturday night date all planned but it was a secret. I am not usually good at keeping secrets from Ed. As he tried to worm the surprise out of me, I gave him a hint. This special night would be something we have never done before and he would never guess in a million years.
I cooked us a nice dinner and we were in the car by 7 PM. I drove him around town and through some side streets until we arrived at the Armory next to Legion Stadium.

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This is scotty Sabre flying through the air. He is one of my co-workers and he is following his dream. He is a wrestler and this is his first bout in a while. A whole gang of folks from One Tree Hill came to his event to support him. Ed was shocked when we walked in the door. There must have been 50 folks, actors, producers, crew members all there screaming for Sabre.These guys slammed each other all over the ring and a couple of times on the concrete floor outside of the ring. I was screaming my head off the whole time. We had the best time.
Scotty won his bout against his opponent who, by the way, had a very impressive looking belt and who was quite impressed with himself.
I don’t think I will have a voice left in the morning.





Forgive Moms- part one

17 01 2009

The mother of a young AA member is still drinking alcoholically. She often calls him when she is drunk. He usually does not answer after a certain hour in the evening because he knows she will be on a drunken rant. Sober alkies just know that it is fruitless to talk to someone who is in their cups. They don’t remember and we just get frustrated. I think it is wise to avoid such calls.

One night, he just wasn’t thinking and he answered the phone to hear his drunken Mom slurring that she was going to kill herself. He tried to talk to her but had to hang up in frustration. He asked me how it is possible to forgive someone who continues to do this crazy stuff. My answer is that you continually forgive them. It sounds a lot easier than it actually is. I have been thinking about it for over a week now. Any knowledge I have is based on my own personal experience with life.

I spent a lot of time angry at my Mom. I believed it was all her fault that I was an emotional mess. It was true that she had done a lot of irrational things during her drinking days and she did truly break my heart on more than one occasion. Her behavior was completely dysfunctional and after I got sober, I had, like this young man, made a decision that it was healthier for me not to answer her calls after a certain hour. I could not afford to go into the tailspins that her drunken conversations spiraled me into. I also could not afford to remain angry with her. 

At the suggestion of my sponsors, I began to pray for her every day. It took great restraint not to pray for what I wanted for my mother, which was, of course, for her to get sober. I had to pray that God would simply bless her.  My will for her was not wrong or bad. I learned that I needed to let go of MY will and trust God”s will for her. So, my prayer was something like this:

God, Please bless my Mom. Help me to forgive her and to let go of my anger towards her. Your will be done. Amen

Keep it simple. The odd thing is that you can not remain angry at a person that you ask God to bless. It is a mystery to me how the heart softens when you pray for another individual. As I was able to let go of the resentment our relationship began to grow into something healthy even though she was still drinking. I was learning how to love her where she was at. I still couldn’t hang out with her when she was drinking but I loved her from a distance. In alanon, they call it “detaching with love”. I really did love her.

One afternoon, in my fifth year of sobriety, my Mom called me. As soon as I heard her voice I knew she was completely shattered. It was the middle of the day. She had recently retired and no longer had a job to help her control her drinking, she was out of control. She kept mumbling, “I need help.” I talked to her for a short time and told her I would come by and see her in the morning.

The next morning, I showed up at her place bright and early. She was hurting with a horrid hangover. I told her to get dressed so we could get going. She asked where we were going and I said to an AA meeting. She recoiled at the thought and began to argue with me. She was not going to any blankety-blank meeting. So, I lied to her.

Will you check back tomorrow to see what happened?





Benjamin Button

11 01 2009

After seeing Benjamin Button I am intimidated and exhilarated at the same time. The aging and de-aging work done by the hair and make up artists was excellent. Kudos to them. I would have loved to work on that one and see the beautiful work being done. I enjoyed the finger waves on the women in the old age home during the 1920s and 1930s. Perfect horseshoe waves that went all around the head. That is the exhilarating part.
The intimidating part is my “self-talk”. “What the heck am I doing in this business? I am in my mid fifties and I don’t have enough time left in this business to hone my skills to the point where I could perform that kind of seamless wig work.”
I know the make up folks had to put a bald cap on Brad Pitt and then the hair stylist used several lace wigs and pieces as they de-aged his character. I never saw a lace line or any hair that did not look like it was growing straight out of his scalp. I am totally impressed.
I took a seminar by one of the hairstylists that did some of this work and I learned so much from her in a weekend that it wasn’t even funny. I will continue to learn my craft for as long as I can and enjoy my work. That means the negative self-talk has got to go. I will remember that I am in this business by the grace of God. He has equipped me and called me to be here. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Thanks, I feel better now. Go see the movie. I had no idea it that the screen play was inspired by a story by F. Scott Fitzgerald.





monkeys

11 01 2009

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Ernesto is a very talented set designer for films. He is originally from South America. A strapping, handsome young man. I had the pleasure of working with him on a movie that has yet to be released, titled Patriotville.

I met Ernesto in the office. I was looking for a photo printer and he had one in his office. A set designers office holds a myriad of interesting  paraphernalia and this office did not disappoint. He had a kisssing booth, a traffic light, a life size stand up of a clown, etc, etc. There were goofy signs and practical jokes all around the office. As I looked around I began to chuckle at some of these things. Ernesto started in a rant with a charming South American accent. “I am working with monkeys” As I laughed he got more animated. “Is no joke. I am working with monkeys. Look at this place. They are all monkeys. ”

My good friend Jennifer (the one who makes me laugh more than anyone else I know) heard this line and together, we made this our mantra for the rest of the shoot. So, whenever I see monkeys, I think of Ernesto and Jennifer. 

The other night I took this photo with my cell phone and sent it to Jennifer. Of course, I added the phrase, “I am working with monkeys” and it was true. I was at work. I love my job.