31 10 2011

Leaving for Madrid

I had the bottom bunk.

These are some photos of the beginning of our mission to the ladies of Betel ministries. Our mission was to encourage them to understand that women are important and loved by God. My part of this mission was to give hair cuts and new hair styles to help rejuvenate the women. Out of seventy women, I only got to do three makeovers because we were only there for 26 hours. If I didn’t have to sleep after 30 hours of travel I may have been able to squeeze in 2 or three more haircuts. I can be such a slacker sometimes!

Cynthia arrived a day ahead of us and kicked off the festivities!!

Front of the dormitory at the Campo

The makeovers were done at such a fast pace that I didn’t want to spend any time taking photos. This is a photo taken after her hair and make up were done and she went back to her room to change clothes for the evening session. Her hair had been long and unhealthy so she just piled it on top of her head. When she sat in my chair and told me, with the help of an interpreter, that she wanted her hair like mine I asked her to repeat it three times just to be sure I was hearing her correctly. She was mui valiente (very courageous). And she felt beautiful when her hair and make up had been finished!

I am never alone

31 10 2011

Joshua 1:5 and 9

5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses,so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage;tdo not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Even though these words were spoken to Joshua by the Lord, they are also relevant for me. and to anyone who follows our Lord. These are sweet words to this widow.

Personal bullet points;

  • There is always someone trying to stand between me and what the Lord has called me to do.
  • There is always opposition to my fulfilling God’s plan.
  • I must keep my eyes on Jesus.
  • I must not lose sight of His calling on my life.
  • My life is not my own. I have been bought with a precious price.
  • I must not trust in man nor turn from the left or to the right of the Law.
  • God reveals His law to me.
  • Stop stressing over being good enough or wise enough.
  • On my own, I have no strength to go on.
  • I must TOTALLY lean on Jesus and not on my friends or my family.

Jesus puts the right people in my life to hold my arms up in the battle but I must not lean too heavily on them. I can throw myself on my Lord and He will always be there for me.

Hola Amigas!!

24 10 2011

This is day three in Madrid. The conference was very good. Seventy women from all over Spain were present. The women who spoke really brought the Word and God met His ladies with tender mercies. Many tears and much cleansing and healing have been started in the lives of His Beloved.

I had the honor to share my testimony and my favorite scripture verses with the ladies on Sunday afternoon. They have been so very gracious.

I have been asked to share again on Tuesday night service. I am here to serve. It is refreshing to let go of the reigns and trust that God is leading this entire trip. I am cutting hair, hugging women, kissing cheeks and learning some Spanish phrases. “Una mas!!!” One more…. haircut, hug, prayer … whatever!

I have taken some photos and hope to be able to d/l and share them tomorrow.

Blessings to all. Please keep praying. God is at work in my heart as well. It has been a bitter sweet time for me. I have thought a million times about my love.

Until mana`na.

Love on another.

This story is about forgiving

12 10 2011

For all my creative crazies out there, I want to share with you a post that has inspired me this morning. I found her on Freshly Pressed, on the WordPress home page.

NOW! This story is about forgiving.

My occupation is filled with talented, creative and extremely insecure people. I know this because on any given day I am one or all of these adjectives. I have worked with make up artists and hair stylists who have a good sense of who they are and the talents they possess. They have been a challenge and a delight to work with. They share their knowledge and receive ideas from others. They inspire me to become better at my job.

I have also worked with folks who feel threatened by anyone who may have a different method than they are used to. They are insecure and constantly on the defensive, trying to prove what they know. Even if what they know is limited or directed by poor work ethics. They can not  seem to learn from folks who may know something they do not. Argumentative and sensitive they can not or will not follow instruction. Working with this personality is a nightmare to me.

I wish I knew a better way to deal with it. My own insecurities rise up. I find myself second guessing my actions and responses continually. I believe  it is good to take stock of ourselves and when we find a flaw try to correct it. That is not what I am talking about in this instance.

I had a department head job where my key hairstylist was the personality mentioned above. In eight weeks, the work relationship had declined to a point where we had an argument. I called her Princess and she called me passive aggressive. She was right. I was trying not to strangle her or fire her because I knew she had some things to work through. Crew members were coming to me to tell me that she was saying some very negative things about me to the producers.  One person even told me to watch my back because my key was looking for an opportunity to throw me under the bus. Hmm… not what I want to hear when  a demanding job really prevents me from “watching my back.” Still, I did not want to fire her. I had insight to some of her woundedness and  I was hoping God would work some things out in her.

I called some of my prayer warrior friends and asked them to cover “my back.”  They did. By the end of that week, the producers made a decision to fire my key. They did not discuss it with me or explain anything to me when it was all said and done. At first I was shocked and insulted that they did not confer with me before taking this action. In retrospect I am somewhat grateful. I can see that this young lady did not want to work as hard as we were working. She wanted off the show. She was not only bad mouthing me but was relentlessly criticizing the director…. to the actors!!! Much of her behavior was unprofessional at best.

My last 2 weeks of the show ran very smoothly thanks to the help of her replacement. I had not realized that I was doing so much of the work by myself due to her lack of willingness to work as a team.

She has not spoken to me since that night. No explanation, only a text that apologized for leaving me in a bad situation.

I am working on letting go of hurt feelings. Forgiving her for maligning my character. Forgiving her for the things she is still saying about me.

I am working on becoming a better leader. Forgiving myself for not correcting things early on.

I realize that I can not help everyone. There does come a time when I have to let people go from my life.

I am praying for wisdom and healing.

Jesus and Ed are watching.

6 10 2011

Ed leans over to Jesus and says, “I know you know her better than I do but she is clearly in ADD/OCD mode. This is usually when I would stick my head out the back door and remind her not to over due it.”

Jesus – “Mm – Hmm.”

Ed – “Okay, and this is the 15 minutes later that I remind her she is headed for a back ache if she doesn’t stop pulling weeds and come in the house.”

Jesus – “Yes, I remember.”

Ed – “Can we just get her attention somehow?”

Jesus smiles. And then looses a legion of mosquitoes to attack.

Me – “Alright, alright you guys! I heard you the first time. But seriously, one had to bite me there???” As I trudge back to the house while scratching my butt.

Jesus and Ed have such a weird sense of humor.

We make our plans and God laughs.

3 10 2011

There has ben a lot of talk at Rock Church about dreams. Not the kind we have when we are asleep but the dreams we have for our lives.

Today is my 59th birthday and what a tremendous journey it has been. January 5, 2012 will mark the 35th anniversary of my sobriety. It was also 20 years ago in January when Ed and I moved to NC. We had a dream then. Ed and I thought I was coming here to go full time into the gospel ministry as a singer and speaker. Ed was working as a Merchant seaman and making a good enough paycheck to support us while I followed my dream.

One thing after another happened until we couldn’t see the dream anymore. Many twists and turns later, Ed owned and operated a cleaning business and I was working as a hairstylist in the film industry. We make our plans and God laughs.  I didn’t sing anywhere anymore. The last church we attended and helped to found had closed its doors. We were searching from church to church, looking for a solid body of Believers to join. We kept going back to Rock Church because it felt safe there. During the service one Sunday, Ed turned to me and whispered, “This is the one. You need to be up there singing and I should be helping the homeless.” That was around ten years ago. I am still up there singing with the rock band at Rock Church.

But what happened to the dream? Well, sadly, I let it die and I buried it years ago. I still had a heart to see women get set free from harsh situations but I did not feel  a direction to get involved much. My husband always believed that I was anointed to help broken women. He told me all the time that hurting people are always drawn to me because of that anointing. None the less, all those doors seemed to close.

Now, I had to be on my toes to walk my faith out in my new work place. That takes a lot of energy. Film people are used to actors trying to manipulate a response. Talk is cheap. The last thing they want or need to hear is some pious, born again telling them that Jesus loves them. It is not my job to proselytize. God has called me to “love my neighbor.”

  • My atheist neighbor
  • My homosexual neighbor
  • My neighbor who sleeps around
  • My addicted neighbor
  • My kind elderly neighbor and the grumpy ones too
  • And even my born again neighbors who don’t think the same way I do

If I can’t love them like Jesus does, it doesn’t matter what I say.

And I have come to realize that this is all training for the next big thing.

My next big thing is to use my talents and gifts on a trip to Madrid to minister to women.

And that dead and buried dream? Did you feel that? Did the earth just shake a little? Is that a dream being resurrected?