This story is about forgiving

12 10 2011

For all my creative crazies out there, I want to share with you a post that has inspired me this morning. I found her on Freshly Pressed, on the WordPress home page.

http://leslielaughs.com/2011/10/06/how-to-seize-every-31-days/

NOW! This story is about forgiving.

My occupation is filled with talented, creative and extremely insecure people. I know this because on any given day I am one or all of these adjectives. I have worked with make up artists and hair stylists who have a good sense of who they are and the talents they possess. They have been a challenge and a delight to work with. They share their knowledge and receive ideas from others. They inspire me to become better at my job.

I have also worked with folks who feel threatened by anyone who may have a different method than they are used to. They are insecure and constantly on the defensive, trying to prove what they know. Even if what they know is limited or directed by poor work ethics. They can not  seem to learn from folks who may know something they do not. Argumentative and sensitive they can not or will not follow instruction. Working with this personality is a nightmare to me.

I wish I knew a better way to deal with it. My own insecurities rise up. I find myself second guessing my actions and responses continually. I believe  it is good to take stock of ourselves and when we find a flaw try to correct it. That is not what I am talking about in this instance.

I had a department head job where my key hairstylist was the personality mentioned above. In eight weeks, the work relationship had declined to a point where we had an argument. I called her Princess and she called me passive aggressive. She was right. I was trying not to strangle her or fire her because I knew she had some things to work through. Crew members were coming to me to tell me that she was saying some very negative things about me to the producers.  One person even told me to watch my back because my key was looking for an opportunity to throw me under the bus. Hmm… not what I want to hear when  a demanding job really prevents me from “watching my back.” Still, I did not want to fire her. I had insight to some of her woundedness and  I was hoping God would work some things out in her.

I called some of my prayer warrior friends and asked them to cover “my back.”  They did. By the end of that week, the producers made a decision to fire my key. They did not discuss it with me or explain anything to me when it was all said and done. At first I was shocked and insulted that they did not confer with me before taking this action. In retrospect I am somewhat grateful. I can see that this young lady did not want to work as hard as we were working. She wanted off the show. She was not only bad mouthing me but was relentlessly criticizing the director…. to the actors!!! Much of her behavior was unprofessional at best.

My last 2 weeks of the show ran very smoothly thanks to the help of her replacement. I had not realized that I was doing so much of the work by myself due to her lack of willingness to work as a team.

She has not spoken to me since that night. No explanation, only a text that apologized for leaving me in a bad situation.

I am working on letting go of hurt feelings. Forgiving her for maligning my character. Forgiving her for the things she is still saying about me.

I am working on becoming a better leader. Forgiving myself for not correcting things early on.

I realize that I can not help everyone. There does come a time when I have to let people go from my life.

I am praying for wisdom and healing.


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