a cord of three is not easily broken

27 08 2011

We knew each other so well that we could finish each others thoughts. He made me laugh like no one else in the world could and I knew how to push his buttons when he annoyed me. We had what it takes to keep a marriage together. We had Jesus and we made a covenant with Him that we would grow together and always support each other.

In the early days of our courtship, when we lived near Plymouth, Mass, we would go to Plymouth beach at night and sit on the sea wall together. As we listened to the waves slap against wall, we would share our insecurities and the pain of growing in our sobriety. We encouraged each other and wanted the best for each other. For all of our years after that we had a saying when things got tough. “Come on Baby, I’ll go to the wall with you”. No matter what came our way, I always knew he had my back.

Ed was my supporter when I pursued a singing ministry. He wanted me to succeed and he was my biggest fan.

It was my faith in Jesus as my strength that allowed me to let Eddie go out to sea for months at a time. I trusted my husband and he trusted me because we believed in the covenant we made with each other.

I admired his tenacity to overcome obstacles and become a successful business owner.

He bragged about me and was so proud when my career as a hair stylist in film and television began to flourish.

I truly do not think I would have survived my third and final season of work as Dept. Head on Dawson’s Creek if it had not been for the support of my husband. It was a horrible season in which there was a lot going on behind my back. I knew of some of it and felt that the Lord was telling me to leave it alone and allow it to play out. It hurt. And on a few nights, when I did not think I could keep my mouth shut and bear the deceit for another minute, my husband would get in the car and drive to where we were shooting just to sit with me and silently pray. We were life partners.

We prayed together every night. Sometimes holding each other and sometimes on the phone. Always at the end of the day, the three of us: Ed, me and Jesus.

Today, I discovered something he wrote in a Bible study book. Ed wrote, ” I try to do His will every day. I have God, have seen Him at work in my life and in others. I carry His message into other peoples lives. I am at peace with God. I knew that the day of my death was coming. My life has been good. I am paying the price for my rebellion.”  {That last sentence is in reference to the cirrhosis of the liver and pulmonary hyper-tension and how he suffered with it in the last year.}

Now, I must go on without my love. And though he is not here physically, I know he will always be with me because he is a part of me. I know he still has my back. Ed is one of the cloud of witnesses mentioned in Hebrews 12 who cheers me on from Heaven. “Go for it Baby. Finish your race and make a difference!”

I will.


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7 responses

27 08 2011
normamcgee

This is beautiful, Coni.

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27 08 2011
candress

thanks Norma, for being the kind of friend that sticks with me as I travel this unwanted path.

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29 08 2011
jennifermcgee (@jennifermcgee)

Love hearing what Ed wrote and how you are going for it!

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17 09 2011
candress

Thank you Jennifer. I am grateful for your love for me and Mr Eddie. He had much love and respect for you too. And I love you.

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3 09 2011
Beckysita (lgf)

Non, When I read the title of this post, all I could think was how I’d never thought of that verse in this way. That cord is not broken even though Ed is “gone.” We want a strong cord when we are here on earth, to keep us close to our hubs, but wow, what strength you are given in having his writings and the promise that your cord will continue for forever. I sure love you, Lady. Missing Ed today.

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17 09 2011
candress

I love you little girlfriend. You are an inspiration to me too.

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23 09 2011
Sheila

You know Auntie, you influence and inspire me, even when you think I am not paying attention. I learn from you, each and every time you share of yourself with us, and I thank you, with all of me, Sheila.

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