He is with me

14 06 2011

Ed was such a fighter. As many trips to the hospital ER as we had taken, he always rallied and came home. Sometimes after a day or two , but he always came home. We began to call him the energizer bunny because he kept going and going. If you are old enough to remember a certain commercial about a Timex watch, you can repeat this with me… “Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin.” I guess that slogan doesn’t translate well in this age of digital time pieces but Ed felt that it still applied to him.

It took some time for us to come to grips with the seriousness of Ed’s illness. We vacillated between acceptance and denial. After one of our discussions on what Ed would like for his final arrangements, I heard this song by Mandisa while driving in my Toyota. The words struck me deep with a measure of acceptance and encouragement, reminding me where Ed and I would get the strength to walk this journey ahead of us. When I got home, I went to iTunes and down loaded it, then I played it for Ed. Together we listened to this song about 4 times in a row that first day. Whenever we would ride someplace in the car he asked me to play that song. Then he asked me to sing with the song. Then he would ask me just to sing the song to him. Ed always loved to hear me sing. I always loved singing to him. I sang to him at our wedding reception and just never stopped. He was my biggest fan and always my greatest supporter.

I was blessed by my friends, Becky and David, to be able to make a recording of me singing “He is With You.” It was a gift to My Love for our 28th wedding anniversary. (thank you again guys) I had no way of knowing at that time that Ed would request that recording to be played at his memorial service. Many of the folks there were under the impression that I wrote the song but I cannot take the credit for that. The words were so fitting that it was easy to sing it straight from my heart.

Today, I am struck with the irony that I sang a love song to my Eddie on the day that we entered into our covenant and I sang to him again as we fulfilled our vows, “… until death us do part.” He has been with us. Jesus Himself promised that He would never leave me or forsake me. That word never  means NEVER. He is with me until death overtakes me. My work here is not finished, my time has not come. But when it does, I will be ready to rest in the arms of My Savior and let Him take me home. Until that time, I know He is with me.


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3 responses

14 06 2011
Helen

You inspire me! I love you!

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14 06 2011
Stacey

Coni, u are an inspiration to all of us!! Everytime i see you, you have such a big smile on your face and you just have that ability to draw people to you!!
I am so blessed to have met you!!

Stacey 🙂

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18 06 2011
saraseidmanvance

Coni, I love you so much. What you and Ed had was a wonderful and rare gift. My life wouldn’t be what it is without your love and support. I’m here for you, I love and miss you all the time. Yes, Jesus is with us until the end! Thank you for praying for me all those years, so I would come to know this.

Your sis,
Sara Lea

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