Moving forward

22 11 2010

It is always easier to see someone else’s short comings. It even makes me feel a little superior when I can point out another person’s faults. But then, something embarrassing or even humiliating usually turns my focus back to what an idiot I can be sometimes. I cannot change a single thing about a single person. I can only change me and I can’t even do that without God’s assistance.

Some very unlovely character traits have raised their stubborn, ugly heads over the past year. There have been days when I could not even find the words to pray. Self pity is one of those things that lives right under the surface of my sensitive life. I constantly fight that and the “victim” mentality. For some time in my past life, depression was an intimidating foe. In the past,these emotional maladies have been so debilitating that they rendered me absolutely useless. I could not think or do anything. I turned into a sludge on the couch.

If I should dare to think that I have finally mastered my life and rid myself of these invaders, I am horrified to recognize they have crept into my life in a whole new way. I will never stop needing God to deliver me in these cases.

The simple truth is, if I am a child of God, I am no one’s victim. My life is surrendered to God and He alone guides my path. God has a plan and a destiny purposed for my life. There are no accidents in my life. Each person I meet is a God ordained relationship. Each event that happens in my life is a God ordained appointment. It all works together to mold me into the person that God has created me to be.

Some people and events make me stronger, some comfort me, some encourage and some simply entertain me. Sometimes people and events are in my life for what I can do to make things better. In times and relationships like this, I must remember that I can do nothing good on my own. It is when I try, in my own strength, to guide someone or to control some event that I exhaust myself by doing things “my way”and botch the good that could have been done.

If I find myself off the God path, (and I do quite regularly), I go back to taking my inventory. I repent of taking my self will back again. I scrape the mud off my boots and tell my ego to shut up. I ask God to light my way back to the path He has for me. I recognize and admit that God has given me everything I need in my personality to accomplish those things that are my destiny. I place my life back into His capable hands and I trust Him.




2 responses

22 11 2010

YOU are an amazing woman – with a strikingly glamorous hairstyle – and I’m blessed to call you my momma.
I love you


22 11 2010

You bless me Fawn. I love you. Thank you for always accepting me the way I am. You are awesome.


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