Coni’s Psalm of Thanksgiving

23 11 2008

At the end of my drinking days, I had a daughter who had just turned 4 years old. I was on Welfare and working in a bar room as a bartender / bouncer. I was fired for beating up the customers and drinking the profits.

God’s mercy endures forever.

Through God’s amazing grace, I was able to get sober in AA. The home I lived in at this time was a rickety little cottage. Cold air came whistling through the gaps around the windows in the winter because the house had settled in to the ground many years before I moved in. 

God’s mercy endures forever.

As “one day at a time” turned into months of sobriety, my brother-in-law rented me his cottage which was in much better condition. I began to watch sober people raise their children around me and I tried to emulate their good parenting. I failed more times than I care to admit but I never gave up trying to be a good parent.

God’s mercy endures forever.

Counseling became available to me along with my working the AA program. My counselor entered me into a state run education program to assist me in finding a career and getting off of welfare. The Academy of Cosmetology that I wanted to go to was 45 minutes away from where I lived. I had never learned to drive and I had no car.

God’s mercy endures forever.

My mother paid for me to go to driving school and get my license. My AA sponsor loaned me the money to purchase a vehicle that would get me to school. I bought an old beater that had no heater, no air conditioner and a leaky radiator. I carried 2 jugs of water in my trunk at all times to replace whatever water the radiator misplaced.

God’s mercy endures forever.

The temperature in the winter was often in the teens. No heat, no defroster. I wore a huge Army parka with a fur lined hood that I found at the Salvation Army. I pulled over every few miles to scrape my frozen breath off the windshield and pulled my hood over so I could see to take a turn.

God’s mercy endures forever.

I graduated school and began a career in hair styling. I am married to a Christian man who loves me and serves Jesus with his life. My daughter has grown into a beautiful woman with a Godly husband and children who are a blessing.

God’s mercy endures forever.

Today, I am clean and sober for more than 30 years. I am a hairstylist in the film industry. I am employed right now. I have health insurance and my health is pretty good.

Dear Lord, Please do not ever let me forget where I came from. Keep me ever thankful for the blessings You have provided for my life along this journey. Remind me that You have gone before me and made a path for me to follow. Thank You for leading, and sometimes dragging, me along the way.

Forgive me when my heart becomes hardened with disappointments. Forgive me for the times that I think of me first and You last. Soften my heart again.

You have been so good to me. Thank You that Your mercy NEVER fails and that Your love continues forever.


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2 responses

25 11 2008
Vicky

This made me weep. Sometimes I wish I could forget where I came from, but I need to remember and grow from it. Heal the wounds but leave the scars, right?

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26 11 2008
Rachel Rowell

WOW. What an amazing testimony of where His love has brought your from. Yes, i’d say you have much to be thankful for. MUCH. love ya and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving tomorrow.

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