And then I was blessed

3 09 2008

About 31 years ago I said a prayer that went something like this.

God, I have made a complete mess of my life. I don’t even know how to begin to make it right. It ain’t much but it’s all I got. Here. I want to give it to You and ask You to make something good out of it. I will try really hard to listen and do what you tell me. Amen

Then, I kept going to AA meetings.

I have to tell you that I never would have gone to a church at that time in my life. NEVER! I knew I was a complete loser and I always felt like the scum of the earth when I walked into a church. I was not good enough to be there.

But, when I walked into an AA meeting, I felt like I belonged. The people there did not look down on me. They displayed love to me in ways that I never experienced. People were so patient with me. They did not put me down nor did they show me pity. They told me the truth in love. They picked me up at my house and drove me to AA meetings in the day time, at night and occasionally in the morning. They answered the phone in the middle of the night if I called them. They shook the sleep out of their heads and talked me through the desire for a drink or the despair of wondering how my life could ever make sense again. They gave me hope and direction and, one day at a time, my life began to turn around. They pointed to me God.  The 12 steps helped me to meet God and to understand that He loves me.

God heard my prayer. It was not elaborate. It was not long. It WAS from my heart. I had surrendered my heart to God. He made my life whole. He put me back together. He directs me today. My life is so very different today.

Five years after I got sober, I took one more step in my spiritual growth. I asked Jesus to forgive all my sin and to run my life.

There is a song I used to sing that has this lyric:  “I have always been a loser but today this loser won.”

I am a winner today. I am loved by God with an amazing love. This love is not because I am worthy of it. This love is just because He is love. I still pray that God will direct my life and I still try really hard to listen to Him and to do what He tells me to do. I am so blessed.

That’s what is on my mind tonight. Hope you are having a good night too.


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