Change me

17 03 2008

Enough of the work updates already! I hope you all find them interesting. As you know, I happen to think I have the coolest job on the planet. But, there is more going on in my head than hairstyles and wigs.

For instance, I heard a challenging message at the Rock yesterday. There is a big change going on at the Rock. To be absolutely honest, I am not a person who likes change. I usually have to have my back against the wall before I give in to change. Having said that, I do, however, recognize that there are times when change is necessary.

Pastor Brian brought a message yesterday that shook my thinking a bit. He talked about the holier than thou Christians that we sometimes seem to be. How we can tend to point the finger of condemnation at a person who is stuck in sin. We don’t always do that blatantly but Pastor B. said we need to stop giving the world the finger. OK. That stuck with me.

I began to wonder why we don’t love people better. After all, Jesus died for ALL of us. He never said, “Nope, can’t forgive you of that one. You are just too gross.” If He did, I would be in BIG trouble.

Something was nagging at me the whole time P.B. was speaking. I had a crazy weekend. I am trying to think of a delicate way to share this. I am a people person. I am mostly an open book, what you see is what you get. For some reason, wounded and mixed up people seem to be compelled to tell me stuff. One of my encounters this weekend was with a wounded and mixed up person who told me that he was a sex addict. Ed was right there with me but the guy was clearly talking to me. I suggested a 12 step program and he told me that, unfortunately, he had tried that and found it the best place in the world to pick up chicks that just wanted to have sex. Frankly, I was at a loss. My mind was on the addiction and I really didn’t have much compassion for the guy. I just thought he was weird for confiding this information and I was a little ticked off. I half heartedly asked Holy Spirit to give me something meaningful to say but I got nothing. I had no idea what to do or say. Just uncomfortable so I did what I always do. Laughed.

The Glory Academy of Dance performed to a song that says, “can anybody hear them. does anybody know that they are going down today. in the shadow of the steeple.” That was the beginning of the squeeze on my heart. I thought of this guy. I am pretty sure that he doesn’t confide all that personal information to everyone who comes into where he works. He couldn’t possibly or he would lose his job. He may not even have realized it, I didn’t at the time, but this was a cry for help.

Why didn’t I tell him that Jesus can set him free from this addiction??? I know He can.  Why didn’t I tell him that Jesus loves him right where he is at and wants to set him free? I know He does. Why didn’t I share how Jesus has set me free from more than one addiction? Jesus never stopped loving me but pulled me out of the filth I was living in and gave me a brand new life that is blessed so much that I can’t even begin to explain.

All of those questions burdened my heart. Later, after I got home, this is the thought that broke my heart. Why did I think I was somehow better than this guy who was crying for help?

Lord, Forgive me for missing the mark again. Thank You that You still haven’t given up on me. Keep stretching me and make me grow up. Change me. I know You have not given up on that man either. Please send him the help he needs today. Amen.



4 responses

17 03 2008
Karen Halls

I found your site on google blog search and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. Just added your RSS feed to my feed reader. Look forward to reading more from you.

Karen Halls


17 03 2008
Deep Thoughts… Maybe » Evidently…

[…] yesterday has created quite a stir in some folks. God is messing with us all. Check out what Coni and Johnny had to say. (This Sunday is going to be awesome… just […]


18 03 2008

Coni, thank you for sharing with honesty from your heart. I am glad Jesus hasn’t given up on me either.


18 03 2008

One thing that Pastor Bryan said that got me thinking is that I had
not really truly remembered what God had done for me. Where He
brought me from. That I once was in the deepest pit ever! It was a great
message. More people need to hear it. It sure messed me up!


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