30 10 2007

At the risk of sounding weirder than usual, I just have to say that I am getting cuter with age.

I just got my new do and some REALLY RED highlights and I couldn’t help but wish that I were 20 years younger. I would definitely have piercings and tattoos in abundance. And my hair would have some purples in it for sure! To do it now would just be, what my friend Jennifer refers to as, “mutton dressed as lamb.” It is just too stinking bad that I had to wait until I was in my mid fifties to have the courage to look and be the way I want. Heck, it took me this long to even know what I want. I was such a people pleaser that I would be devastated if someone didn’t like me. Now, I meet people all the time who don’t like me and I have discovered that, for the most part, that are too insecure to let me know that they don’t like me. So, they fake it but it always comes out some how. Oh, It isn’t that they are being polite at all. If that were the case, they wouldn’t be talking behind my back… or yours.

I have decided that I am the only one who has to like me. That means that I need to behave in a manner that makes me comfortable. I am not always successful at this. There are times that I hear something come out of my mouth and wish I could inhale it right back into silence. Sometimes my thoughts offend me. That is easier to deal with because I bring those right to Jesus and say, “Here. I don’t want this. Will you discard of it for me?” He always says, “yes”. And sometimes He has to remind me to get my grubby little paws off that because it doesn’t belong to me anymore!! Jesus knows just how to speak to me and to make me laugh. I love to laugh. I love wearing spiky hair with red highlights and purple glasses. I don’t need any more tats. I don’t need any more holes in my body to hang jewelry off of. I am 55 years old and I have acquired some lovely diamonds over the years and I love to wear them. I am cute mutton, hear me roar. baaaa