I’m tired of the Dee word

23 09 2007

This has been a time of big Deecisions for me and Ed.
Ed has made a date with retirement. I have turned down three jobs in the past two weeks. We are NOT moving away from Wilmington, NOT buying a condo in Charleston and NOT committing to long term jobs for right now.
It is empowering yet scary to make such declarations for our lives. It is too easy to let fear of the unknown take over and take our eyes off of the awesome God who has provided for us all these years.
All I need to do is think back to where and what I was 30 years ago. Devastated. Stuck on welfare with no job, no skills and a child that I was ill equipped to raise. I was coming out of the fog of 10 years of alcoholism and drug addictions and living in a cottage with tilted floors and no curtains. My fancy home design was Mateuse wine bottles lined around the walls in the living room and beer can tabs strung together and hung as curtains around my windows. Oh yeah, and the pot plant growing in the bathroom window. No, I didn’t mean to say potted plant. I meant pot; as in, marijuana. I was sad, sorry and mean as a snake.
A loving and all powerful God had a plan for my life. I never could have imagined the life I have now and it all came from surrendering to God. I am no longer angry about the things that caused me pain and torment in my childhood. Rejection was like a garment that covered and suffocated me.I have forgiven and moved on. I stopped listening to the tapes that recited that I was a loser and could never accomplish anything worth while. I was given the courage to follow my dreams.
Ed and I have made some important Deecisons this month. I am excited to see the next step in our life journey.



One response

24 09 2007

Cool Conni! I love your picture! I’m jealous, I can’t figure out how to do an avatar on my blog.

And It’s good to do those decisions things. Change is good. It makes us more interesting than your average rock, which doesn’t get around much, if you know what I mean.

I also loved your first post. It sounds like my days. The kids create so much mess, that by lunch time, I’m usually further behind that I was when I started working at 9am! Some days I just move from spill to spill…

I will check in again soon!


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